Monday, November 2, 2015

Swimming in a Sea of Anarchy

       I am well aware how much I came off as a jerk in the previous entry. These were difficult circumstances in which most everyone's highest priority was rear end covering. Attempting to deal with corporate/Oakhaven was difficult enough without wrangling the best possible outcome for myself. Let us face it...there were no good options for me at the time. The best I could hope for was the least of several evil. So I was not the most charming person during the process. I would become even worse before it was all over.
       I went back to the dining hall to set up my laptop again. Thoughts kept eating away at me. Of particular concern was the thirty day deadline. Granted, Michelle assured me the deadline was merely a guide. Corporate/Oakhaven could not just give me the boot if I was still a resident after the deadline passed. But since when did they care about rules? Michelle warned me privately at the conference when I agreed to exit if I did not set specific demands, they could just drop me anywhere and be done with it. So I said only assisted in an urban environment. Now Chrystal showed up after a week and a half of no contact with a brochure from a nursing home. I was not certain she knew I was losing weight, but I assume she did. If the tube could not be removed for health reasons, were they going to oust me into a nursing home anyway? I was not going to allow that to happen. I needed to assert myself.
       All these thoughts ran through my mind in only a few minutes. I packed up my laptop and headed back to Marlie's office. My arrival was so soon after my previous departure, she had barely started what she was working on before Chrystal drafted her. I asked her about the deadline and appealing it if I so desired over concerns I might not be receiving the control over my fate I am supposed to have. She opted to punt the inquiry by calling Chrystal. She happened to still be in the building. Via Marlie, Chrystal told me to sit tight. She would come back to talk to me in a moment.
       While chatting up Marlie in the interim, she offered a concession of sorts on behalf of Chrystal. After I left, Chrystal revealed she was bothered by my use of 'you' when accusations. According to Marlie, she said “He acts like I did those things to him.” Marlie assured her I used “you” for the sake of convenience as a reference to management in general. Granted, details were fuzzy as to Chrystal's role in events leading up to my current predicament. She was the one who corporate chose to explain why I was placed under sitters. She copped a contemptuous attitude both then and at the conference. Marlie herself told me Chrystal selected the wording for the hostile behavior on my health care report Sonya insisted be added over objections I was being (deliberately?) misinterpreted. I was not too sure about her. I am still not. But I offer up the conversation between her and Marlie for you to make up your own mind. Chrystal features prominently in remaining posts regarding my departure from Oakhaven.
       Chrystal showed up with Victoria in tow. I had assumed Marlie would serve as witness again. Chrystal must have been bracing for a debate. The last time she paired with Victoria, the two attempted to argue—poorly, I might add—how I was either a threat to the safety of other residents or too ungrateful at the resources spent on me or...a couple other even weaker suggestions. They were not looking forward to a repeat performance as we entered the infamous conference room. Neither was I. I want straight, honest answers for once.
       I explained my dilemma of not seeing why, if my feeding tube could not be removed, I should be forced to depart Oakhaven when the problem was management not respecting my rights, not one of dissatisfaction with the nursing care. Chrystal countered with my agreement. I wondered if she knew what Michelle advised me in private during the conference.
       “I have no idea what she said to you,” Chrystal told me.
    “Well, let me enlighten yo,” I said. “She told me you were pushing an improper discharge. I could stay if I wanted to, but you all were going to make my life miserable if I did so. If at any point in the future I was hospitalized beyond ten days, you would refuse to hold my bed, thereby finally getting rid of me.”
       I am going to give Chrystal even more credit. She appeared genuinely surprised to hear this. In hindsight, it made sense she would. Michelle would not have told her this in respect of my confidentiality. Chrystal probably thought we were agreeing to the discharge, but take no responsibility for the accusations compelling it, in order to save face. Such a belief would explain her thinly veiled hostility. Or maybe she was aware, and hoped I would be anxious to head for the hills as soon as possible. Whichever the case, she was beginning to see the real possibility of being stuck with me.
       “You are the one who said you wanted a discharge. You told Victoria you wanted to leave,” Chrystal offered.
       So that is why Victoria was here. “I also told her I wanted to wait and consult with Dr. Lily over whether removing the tube was a healthy decision. Besides, I told Victoria that in between the time I posted on Facebook and you placed me one on one. According to you, I was not in my right mind, anyway. By your own argument, you should not have taken my statement as valid.”
       “Dr. Lilly could have just said remove the tube and that would have been it,” Chrystal said.
       “No, he couldn't,” I shot back. “Pulling the feeding tube without my consent would be a battery. He knows that, and so do you.”
       Chrystal did not respond. Interestingly, Victoria never chimed in to give her a breather. Maybe she had learned from past experience. If the awkward silence was to be broken, I would have to be the one to break it.
       “For the sake of argument, let's have it your way. Th meeting was a courtesy since I had already agreed to leave. Why attack me personally in the written statement?” I asked.
       “I don't know why you were attacked personally. I really wasn't aware of what was going to be said at the meeting,” Chrystal said.
       “Then why were you there?' I asked, more to have it said out loud than to elicit an answer. I was not expecting one. “You went so far as to say I hate my sister and am projecting the hatred onto Brock. I mean...who came up with that?”
I looked at the two of them in succession. Victoria was the only one to respond. 'I don't know.”
       “It's disgusting,” I said.
      “It's disgusting I don't know?” Victoria asked.
     “It's disgusting in general,” I said.
     Chrystal must have sensed the need to defuse the situation, but she interjected.     “Jamie, there are past issues. That is why they picked me to help you with your discharge. Because we don't have history.”
       Actually, corporate picked her because they no longer trusted Paulette, no one else wanted to do it, and Chrystal got all the crap jobs no one else wanted. But I saw no point in escalating matters by bringing the points up. I could tell by her tone Chrystal wanted to wrap this up and be anywhere else but in a closed door meeting with me.
       “If there's someone else you'd rather have...” Chrystal said.
      “There aren't any realistic choices,' I said.
      “Then what do you want?” Chrystal asked.
    “Answers. Such as why you were secretly eavesdropping on my private conversations,” I said.
    “We can't answer that. That is up to the people people who made the statements,” Victoria said.
       “According to one CNA, Brock told staff to do so,” I said.
    “Well, you can believe me or you can believe some CNA,” Victoria said, visibly miffed.
   The nursing and CNA staff frequently complained about Victoria’s condescending attitude towards them. Here it was clearly in action. The complaining definitely had been credibility than your average employee grumbling about their supervisor. I though about asking why, if Victoria had such disdain for the general CNA's credibility, did she accept their recounting of my eavesdropped conversations as credible, but Chrystal jumped in before I could.
      “Do you want another meeting to discuss your questions? Who do you want to meet with? Dennis [Lofe]? Brock? Sonya?” she asked.
       “Lofe complained to Michelle I was at the conference in the first place. He won't agree. Brock won't go anywhere near me these days. Sonya has led to my face repeatedly.” I said.
       “That's everybody. You're putting up barriers,” Chrystal said.
I paused for a moment. I was not going to gt anywhere with these two. If I wanted answers, I could not cut off every avenue. “Fine. I would like to talk to Sonya.”
       “I'll let her know,” Chrystal said.
       The meeting descended into parody after that point. Victoria went into this spiel about us both being the same age and how she could not imagine being in a nursing home. I would have noted she worked in a nursing home currently and potentially for another 25-30 years, but her maudlin act threw me off. We all opted to politely end proceedings at that point.
       If you want to know what she was like, Victoria reminded me of Brian Griffin's over-protective father act in the following video.  Skip to the 1:45 mark.  

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