I hope you can appreciate the mixed emotions I was struggling with during the events described in the previews post. I felt vindicated my poor treatment was not an isolated case as corporate/Oakhaven were attempting to prove. Abuse, neglect, and poor work ethic by irresponsible management and employees alike abound. Brock was attempting to keep a wrap on things as much as possible. She frequently held staff meetings to grill—and often berate—them over different kinds of abuse. Staff resented the heck out of her attitude. One the one hand, she was being a huge hypocrite considering how often they had been presented with the choice of lie or take the fall for her bad decisions. On the other, her express purpose for drilling the rules of abuse prevention was to ensure Oakhaven kept its already bad star rating of two rather than improve the living standards of residents.
But at the same time, my weight began dropping as soon as the nightly tube feeding stopped. I dropped five pounds in a week. I had suspected from the beginning stopping the feeding was a bad idea. I had also insisted on not being placed in another nursing home. There was no way I possessed the strength to acclimate to another skilled nursing facility. It took me a brush with death to finally dredge up the fortitude to handle Oakhaven. For all I knew, the next facility I would be dumped in could be even worse. Same hell, different devils, as I once speculated. I was rapidly facing a major dilemma.
It did not help much I was being encouraged to fight the discharge. People's hearts were generally in the right place, although there was a sizable element who liked the idea I defeated Brock every time she mistreated me. No one else, resident or staff, had the capacity or success rate in the past. The sentiment placed me in an awkward position. Yes, I was coming out on top, but look at the consequences of what might have happened if I had lost one? Who know how bad Caligula might have injure me? Or how much 48 mg of Lexapro would have dulled my mind? Or what up to three stints in a mental institution would have done? If Brock had gotten her way just once, I could have suffered permanent damage. Who is to say I would always get the best of her in the future? Prolonged war is tiresome even for the winning side.
There was an idealistic sense among much of the staff I could get Brock fired. I was too cynical to buy into the idea. Considering everything she had gotten away with in the past, I did not see any realistic chance corporate would can her. I also walked a fine line. I was being accused of the crazy notion I was projecting my alleged hatred for my sister onto Brock enough to supposedly make public death threats. I did not need a general feel I had it out for Brock floating about. She was eaten up with enough paranoia already to compel her to spy on my social media, interrogate people with whom I conversed, and physically avoid my general vicinity. The only predictable aspect of her interpretation of anything she learned about me was she believe it in the most negative light possible.
I was facing some tough decision. The best thing to do was find an assisted living facility I liked, yank the feeding tube, and get out the clutches of Wilson Senior Care and Oakhaven. Under such circumstances, I would then have to decide whether to sue. The law was my best weapon against corporate/Oakhaven from the beginning. I certainly felt I was owed something for my pain and suffering. Money was the only language they spoke. But my weight was also dropping. If it became impossible to pull the feeding tube, should I risk moving to what may be an even worse facility or continue in these trenches and hope for the best? Should the worst case scenario come to pass, I would reluctantly choose the latter.
Interestingly enough, when Dr. Lilly came fr his monthly visit, I explained my concerns about my weight loss. He was careful to straddle the line between corporate/Oakhaven's wishes and my continued good health. When I told him if the tube stayed in, I was not budging from Oakhaven, he agreed to follow my wishes. He reiterated he never considered advising the feeding tube's removal at the expense of maintaining a healthy weight. This may be why Dr. Lilly was never again part of any aspect of the feeding tube's fate. From then on, Oakhaven had me deal exclusively with Dr. cooler, the surgeon who inserted the feeding tube in the first place. No one ever said anything about Dr. Lilly's noticeable absence, but considering the way I would soon be bullied into removing the feeding tube, it appeared a concerted effort was made to ensure my departure from Oakhaven.