Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Plot Sickens

       Ticia had been standing by the East wing nurses' desk chatting away while I had been meeting with Paulette. I was uncertain if she had heard anything. The office door had been closed the entire time, but the exchanges had gotten loud at times, at least on my part. I had a point to get across, and it obviously needed to be rammed in dramatic fashion. No matter how much Ticia knew, she could look at me and tell the emotional state I was in. we had only taken a couple steps towards the direction of my room before she insisted I sit out in the hallway with her rather than go back in.
       She was an astute observer of the residents with him she cared. Ticia knew I had a tendency to withdraw when emotional so I can wallow in it. Now was not a good time for me to cocoon in bed in a lonely room on a dead end hallway and mope on all that had happened. So in spite of what I had told paulette I was going to do, I agreed to sit in the hallway with Ticia. We sat there from about nine-thirty in the morning to three o'clock in the afternoon when her shift ended. I did not say much. Such was expected from experience with me. But at least I was distracted.
       Sometime in the late morning, Kendra came by to speak with Ticia. She ignored me until right at the end when she turned around and asked me how I was. I had seen her walking with Brock to the West Wing desk prior to my being moved in with Caligula. I figured the move was at least partially motivated because our two exchanges earlier in the day offended her. Given her usually arrogant, abusive attitude, I assumed she was gloating over the power she had to get revenge on me. Whether that was true or I just resented her at the moment, I did not want to display any betraying emotion. I simply told her I was all right with the infuriating smirk I have often given bullies to let them know they have not beaten me as well as they think.
       When Kendra left, Ticia remarked she had not intended to check on me, meaning the conversation the two shared was frivolous. Kendra simply wanted an excuse to come over and gloat while keeping up the appearance I was an incidental element. I told Ticia I knew what Kendra was doing, and I did not give her any satisfaction. Whatever smugness Kendra may have felt was a creation of her morally bankrupt mind.
       Kendra's involvement was further confirmed when Ellen, the head of therapy, dropped by. I had been out of physical and occupational therapy for over four months, but I had maintained friendships with the therapy crew. Of them all, Ellen was the closest thing my suspicious, closed off self had to a confidant. In spite of only being in her mid-20's, she had an old soul. She had clearly come to check on me, although she never mentioned the incident with caligula until Ashley came over to join us. Suddenly, they were all engaged in a conversation about the incident without me being a participant.
       I thought it was weird until it dawned on me they were both in the daily management staff meeting that morning. Any issues which had arisen would be discussed there. Caligula had to be high on the agenda. The meetings are not to be discussed with residents, but if one overhears something, accidents happen. Yes, Paulette would have been at this meeting, too. She was aware of Caligula's attack on me, she just did not bring it up. The point is, I sat bck and listened.
     “I can't believe Nicole [T.] and Kendra did that to him considering the two weeks he's had.” Ellen said at one point.
       Well, there we go. Kendra the nursing scheduler approached Nicole T. the director of Nursing, said there were not enough staff to serve as sitters, so we should pair up the schizophrenic who attacked his previous roommate with the suicidal guy. Surely nothing will go wrong, especially since we have already moved the sitter out of the room to delay any intervention of an attack. Apparently, this was a brilliant idea, because it earned Brock's seal of approval. Judging by the casual attitudes I had experienced so far from Paulette and Kendra, this was either business as usual or they were putting up the appearance of it being in the hope I would be convinced. At that point, I was unaware of the resources at my disposal in the way of state regulatory agencies that would have treated this as an emergency situation. This could have been the motivation for the laptop' disappearance, but that is only speculation. It certainly become my first line of defense when it was eventually returned.
       But this was little more than FYI at the moment. I had other, seemingly insurmountable objects to overcome. There was still an ongoing effort to commit me to a mental institution. Everyone they had tried so far rejected me as a patient, but that did not mean others would. Only one had to admit me. The second problem was the condition of my new room. I already ntioned I had no call button. But the light fixture was also broken, the bathrom door jammed, and an industrial fan ran 24/7 on the other side of the wall my headboard was up against. It looked like Caligula as a roommate was not the only method of screwing me over Oakhven have devised. I also had a new problem—i was no longer real silverware. This includes an oversized, orthopedic knife which makes it easier for me to cut meat. I had to make do with plastic silverware, which I barely managed. Keep in mind, I was still getting a nightly tube feeding because I only weighed in at a little over 80 lbs at the time. Oakhaven was failing me in every way imaginable.

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