Eye of Polyphemus. The Eye was a fun, often therapeutic, blog to write for the last decade. Alas, it has run its course. Life circumstances have changed so much, anything I feel like writing about now would not fit in with previous content. I toyed with the idea of quitting blogging altogether. I had not been able to write from May 2013 until February 2014. Nine months is long enough to break any habit. One figures forgoing all the work that goes into keeping up a daily blog would be even easier to do, particularly when one is not thrilled at the prospect of accounting for all that has transpired during the nine month hiatus.
One would be wrong about that. Whether I am a writer of skill is up to you all to decide for yourselves. What is not a matter for debate is that I am a writer of compulsion. I have to keep blogging for myself even if no one else reads. I certainly appreciate if you do. I would not post if I did not want to share. If you benefit from any of my words, so much the better. Seeking out a purpose has become extremely important in recent weeks. I am at much of a loss as to how to go about finding purpose other than to keep on with what I have been doing for so long and hope I arrive at an epiphany.
The Eye pretty much died off after I endured surgery on my colon in October 2012. I also suffered from a long recovery during which I drowned in so many dark thoughts, my blogging ironically became frivolous in content. Early May saw the beginning of a poor health relapse that spiraled at the end of the month. For the subsequent nine months, I fell off the grid and out of much of my life as I had known it. I am still reeling, as you will see in subsequent posts.
Cogito Ergo Doleo is going to bge far different than The Eye. For a long while, at least. I have many bad things to purge from myself, and day to day politics, science fiction reviews, and celebrity photos will not fit in. You will figure that out very quickly in the coming days and weeks. If you lose interest or already have, I understand. I will not be writing to entertain myself as I did before. As I mentioned above, writing this new blog is a compulsion. I <I>need</I> to do it.
Which is not to say cogito Ergo Doleo’s philosophy will not change over time. The Eye evolved much over the years. When I started it back in 2003, I averaged eight visitors a day whining about the trials and tribulations of a third year law student. It ended as mostly a celebrity and science fiction review blog with a visitor count of 3.2 million and counting. But under the circumstances, such content stopped satisfying. A whole bunch of things in my sagging life stopped satisfying. Writing became impossible both physically and spiritually. Circumstances are different now, physically, at any rate. Spiritually is another matter altogether. Who can say now where the spirit might lead Cogito Ergo Doleo in the future?
Does all this introduction sound too obtuse to stoke your curiosity? There is no teasing for the sake of drama intended. The nebulous description of Cogito Ergo Doleo is because I, myself, I have clue what to do next period, much less when it comes to blogging. With any luck, we will explore life together and come up with some good answers for all of us. Here is to emerging anew after a long, dark journey through the wilderness.